Bring out the best in each other
The toughest times I’ve faced with Jay have been when we were right there, side by side in tough times, but didn’t know how to help each other.
The Best Team!
You committed for love and adventure… so let’s get back to that.
It’s good to lean on our partners when we’re down, to see each other through tough days, and hope for a break, and a date and something to laugh about together. In sickness and health, for richer for poorer. But how many days are marred by fatigue, snappy responses, and rubbing each other the wrong way. How many times are you hitting the weekend already worn down and repairing your otherwise good relationship?
This relationship is our foundation for bringing our best to kids, work, and the world around us. We’re supposed to be each other’s calm in the storm, but instead the storm can be a draining vortex of grumpy feelings that just wastes opportunity for rest.
It’s easy to see how it works. One person’s complaints and stress raise tension in the other. That tension sets off the other’s stress responses… like worry, or fixing or frustration, something negative. And it all piles on, even if we wanted something better. It shakes us - meaning more tension, rather than calming us to bring our caring self to the equation.
*Pause*… does this ring a bell? What comes up for me is sadness, and exasperation at how many times I/we/both of us tried to head it off at the pass. And we know just how good life can be if we could only sort this out! Now, I’ve got some great wisdom and tips to share so you’re not wasting any more time.
So, let’s sort it out: Share some intentional couples coaching work recognizing your own hot-spots - the triggers setting us off each day. Share the work of recognizing your typical responses - pleasing and resentment? Or snapping and controlling, or avoiding? And then some ‘aha’ moments recognizing the actions that best convey love and reassurance. Enjoy some insight immediately and 8 weeks of reassuring relationship growth.
Then on the tough days, when I snap without thinking, Jay catches himself and remembers how he wants to respond. He brings some gentler positive energy into our interaction. My mood softens a bit… safer, trusting, room to download. And the gentleness is contagious in a good way, and it’s not getting worse. It really means that one brings out the best in the other.
The “Live Life Well” program offers transformative insight in the first week in your individual journey, AND, for couples who sign up together, you’re supporting each other through this powerful work at the same time. The ripples flowing out to your kids, your work, your wider circles will be easy to see and feel as the 8 weeks unfold. Even when one partner is carrying shadows of old trauma, you’ll learn new ways to shrink its' impact and support each other as a great team.
Invite your partner to a brighter, better relationship, bringing out the best in each other, and save your energy for more amazing adventures. Your life together, lived well!